Sure, there has to be an intersection of luck, timing, and opportunity, to find love," she says, "But you increase your odds when you do something about it. and New York Times best-selling author advocates a better way -- being proactive and approaching your dating life like a job search.
I just demystify the process." After a client applies to work with her, Jones evaluates their applications and accepts only clients who she feels largely have their careers and health in order, and are ready to turn their attention to dating — roughly 40% of applicants.
In the initial complimentary strategy session, she asks them details about their situation and what they want.
Once you're satisfied with your profile, she suggested playing a game she calls "I Spy a Facebook Guy." Here's how it works: Give yourself 10 days to cruise around your friends' Facebook pages and find 50 guys that you think are interesting. Plus, they're much more eager to see you settle down than your single friends.
Then scope out their profiles and write them a message. The Frisky: Why women should ask men out on dates 7.
"In the ebook I wrote, there's an exercise for finding your deepest values, and I come up for a plan for them based on how much work there is to do to take them from current situation to where they want to get to, which is pretty much the same thing for most clients: dating great women regularly so they can find the right woman for them," she says.
Clients have three options to work with Jones: 20 sessions for ,400 or ,200 up front; 10 sessions for ,800 or ,700 up front (her most popular option); or five sessions for ,500 or ,000 up front.
I had the opportunity to chat with Rachel and get a singles state of the union. The Frisky: Online dating is making me depressed 1. We are officially the instant gratification dating generation. A lot of us are embarrassed to reach out for help when it comes to finding love. "That's like someone saying 'I'm unemployed but too embarrassed to find a job.'" Rachel suggests thinking of all the people in our lives as possible networking opportunities. " Asking a friend, co-worker, family member, or acquaintance where you can meet a great guy is a dead-end question. You can search something like "Singles, New York, film lovers," and find groups that meet in your area. One-third of married people met through introductions by friends.
If love doesn't happen instantly, we're out of there. Rachel points out that we are willing to put effort into other things in our lives -- our careers, our friendships, our hobbies, our living space --but we expect our love lives to come effortlessly. We think it seems desperate to admit that we would like to find someone to spend the rest of our lives with. The Frisky: I slept with your husband and here's why 3. When you mention in casual conversation to your "village" that you are looking to meet someone this year, ask "how." That way you are enlisting them in your search. You can even click through the groups and see mini-profiles and pictures of the members. Following that logic, Facebook may be our single most underused resource.
You may have tried it all, but have you tried it well? "Doing online dating with a bad profile picture or going to a singles event and leaving after you scanned the room once is like looking for a job with a poorly written resume or applying for a sales job [when] you're an accountant," says Rachel. How do we know what we're doing wrong in our dating lives?
Instead, take a look at what you've been trying and how, and think of ways to do it better. Rachel says that there's no shame in hiring a dating coach.
"The pinnacle is being really well known and winning awards, and I was like, 'I don't really care about that' — what I really cared about was making a difference in peoples' lives.