Honest: A straight man has shared the difficulties he faces dating a pre-operative transgender woman as he spoke about his sex life in intricate detail on the Savage Lovecast, presented by Dan Savage, pictured He said that he has previously really enjoyed oral sex, which he claims he would perform 'maybe like 60 per cent of the time...
something that I use to get my partner off', but that he is struggling to feel the same when it comes to his new partner's genitalia.'I try to be very considerate and always make sure my partner does get off and have a good time but my question is this: I recently started seeing a trans woman who I like very much, she's cute, she's funny, she's nice, very good in bed, very good to hang out with, but I really don't enjoy sucking d***.'She has a penis which is nothing that bothers me, I'm attracted to her naked or clothed or what have you, and she hasn't really expressed and she hasn't really expressed any innate desire for me to go down on her yet.
Since I identify as a trans male, and my sexual preference is for females, I have been left with only one option in the online dating world: heterosexual.
After I came out as trans (FTM), my lesbian relationship was ending, and my first instinct was to stick mainly to gay and lesbian dating sites.
Perhaps this was out of a desire to meet and connect with people in the queer community; perhaps it was because I wasn’t totally comfortable identifying as heterosexual, despite the fact that I was a man and was attracted to women.
Looking back, it seems dating was much easier when I was a cis-gendered female, rather than it is now that I am an out trans guy.
But there’s no denying that the dating part itself presented fewer challenges as a cis-gendered person.
Plus, since I live in a small community, there aren’t many opportunities to date and less of a selection of potential partners.
And yet, the basic tools given to you by most dating sites don’t leave much room for personalization.I was waiting until we had gotten to know each other better.”Then she pulled out “the big guns,” or perhaps I should say “gun.”“Well, I like sex! ”Some of you may find this shocking, but sadly, this kind of gender (and genitalia) policing happens to many transgender people who simply want to go out, have a fun time and meet people.After this notable dating disaster, I went on other dates that didn’t go as badly; but quite honestly, many people are not as open-minded as they’d like to believe.Most sites allow you to choose between only two genders, male and female.Furthermore, there tends not to be much flexibility when it comes to stating your sexual orientation.But obviously, the woman felt duped in some way, and she continued with her tirade.“You tricked me,” she said. Now I really felt the need to explain myself.“Firstly, you are making assumptions about what I have or don’t have in my pants, which is none of your business, just as I would not ask you if you have a vagina.