When a man goes out with a woman, he’s not as concerned with whether she’s articulate and on track to make partner at the law firm. Listen, I’ve spent my life chasing after women I’ve intellectually admired. They’re not wrong for seeing things I could change. But if that go-getter side ends up emasculating your man, or makes him feel insignificant, or second-guessed, he’s not really getting what he wants out of a partner. ” it’s pretty difficult for us to enjoy our role as men.
That’s what women want in men and they assume it’s of equal importance to them. Men DO value intelligence, but they also want from their girlfriend what they CAN’T get from their business associates. If he finds himself constantly hearing all the things he needs to change, he may just determine that he wants a bright woman who is less challenging. But a huge reason I’m with my wife is because she spends her time loving and supporting me, not challenging me on everything from movie tickets, to travel plans, to wake up times. This doesn’t mean you should play dumb, or be weak and needy, no more than the nice guy should start acting like a jackass.
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They often try to change partners who have no desire to be changed. 😉 See, there’s a price to pay for “being ourselves.” And if you’re going to express your opinion, you can’t be surprised if other people disagree with you. Maureen Dowd, the Pulitzer Prize winning columnist for the New York Times, wrote an entire book about this, called “Are Men Necessary? One of her main observations is that if an amazing woman like her could be single, there must be something wrong with men.
When the partner pulls away because he doesn’t want to be with someone so critical, the “direct” person concludes that he couldn’t appreciate her “honesty.” If this makes you feel personally indicted, welcome to the club. I write things that are, to say the least, provocative…and yet I always get surprised when I receive angry emails from readers. And if you’re trying to win each argument, you can’t be too shocked if he wants a woman who can be a little more acquiescent. What she doesn’t acknowledge is that despite her impressive credentials – attractive, successful, intelligent – she might not be giving men what THEY WANT. Just someone who makes his life EASIER and more pleasant. You are a go-getter and worthy of everyone’s respect. And with a generation of women who pose questions like “Are Men Necessary?
And even when I let it out of my chest, it wasn’t love. Telling someone you love them doesn’t mean that you do.
Alas, the apparent enthusiasm is not what it seems.
Since my partner John died eight years ago, I seem to be viewed as easy prey for men hoping for a bit on the side.
Some of them have been old boyfriends, some are former colleagues and workmates, and one or two have been total strangers.Still, it doesn’t change the fact that “hard-driving, opinionated, and meticulous” are not on most men’s lists of ideal feminine traits. Then on the next page were what you label downfalls, or what the test said was the way people who don’t think exactly like me may see me: pushy, intimidating, overbearing, restless, impatient, manipulative, abrasive, reactive & dominating. It was hard too facing the fact that though I didn’t see myself that way, some others did.As someone who considers himself smart and direct, take it from me – there’s nothing wrong with these qualities. I think it’s not that these smart, successful women are exactly those things either, but they are perceived that way by some – not all – of the men they come in contact with.Alan is not only married, but has no intention of changing the status quo, however eager he might sound.Now retired, he finds himself at a bit of a loose end and looking for the odd afternoon liaison — a no-strings affair to provide some excitement in his declining years.CEOs, doctors, lawyers, hedge fund mangers, business owners, professional athletes, actors, etc… But right behind my good traits are a series of bad traits.