With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I cannot help but dwell on who might be coming to dinner.
Last holiday season gave me plenty of food for thought on this all too familiar and often uncomfortable racially-tinged question.
Another of my male relatives brought home a woman for Christmas who seemed like a modern-day, socially progressive southern belle.
She was blonde, full figured, outgoing, and outspoken with a saucy southern accent and friendly, expressive manner.
But this collection of happily ever after stories does not mean that love is blind.
Romantic attraction is subject to the larger social forces of racial prestige and stigma that swirl all around us, and in this environment, black women are losing out.
Genetically speaking, there are no racial categories; race is merely skin deep.
Dating and marrying across racial lines should therefore be natural, common and acceptable. This is the United States, where a deep-seated notion of racial difference has been the rationalization for oppression, the rallying cry for discrimination against people who are not white.
Most striking to me in recent sociological studies about interracial dating and marriage, is that on every measure, African American women seem to come out at the bottom of the pile.
Black people as a whole intermarry with whites less frequently than other people of color do; and black women intermarry far less than black men.
But personal moments of rejection are not the driving force behind my resentful feelings about black male-white female relationships now.