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The new science of love demonstrates that there are 5 stages for having a great relationship that lasts through time: Stage 1: Falling In Love Stage 2: Becoming a Couple Stage 3: Disillusionment Stage 4: Creating Real, Lasting Love Stage 5: Finding Your Calling as a Couple All five stages work best when we communicate with all parts of ourselves.

In my experiences as a marriage and family counselor I’ve seen that most people are blindsided by stage three.

We often project our own illusions, both positive and negative, on to another.

I’ve been a marriage and family counselor for more than 40 years.

Though the times and technologies have changed, the basics of dating and mating haven’t.

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When they don’t live up to our projected image we become dismissive and begin looking elsewhere.

It’s much more difficult to understand and heal the pain and reconnect when we do more texting than talking.

He is the author of thirteen books, including his most recent book, The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best is Still to Come.

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